Latest Blogs12 years a survivor - The moving train - Adult Rape Clinic

Apologies guys, for keeping you in suspense, a lot has been going on in my personal life and obviously, I’m not exempt from the strains of this prevailing economy. Let me pick up from where I left off from…Part 1

My memories of the day it all began are now hazy, but I do recall most parts of what transpired, and that it made me sad, and resulted in a lot of questions still going on in my mind. I was only 9, and at that time I did not understand any of what was happening, I did not even know the adequate terms to describe or explain any of it.

The beauty and evilness of time, with growth, came understanding and after so many years I began to articulate what was going on, and even as I put it into words now; it makes me shake.

If you recall in part one, I gave you a brief background of my family and how my parents were devout Christians. On this particular day it first occurred they had gone for an evening church service, leaving him in charge of us as usual. Surprisingly that day he let my brother and some of the cousins we were staying with, play outside until it was dark. I was in my room, and he came in and told me he had a game that he wanted to play with me. Being a kid, I was excited at first.

He sat on the edge of the bed and instructed me to sit in his laps. He noticed that I was hesitant, but he kept asking me and telling me it would be fun until I agreed. I sat facing him, with my legs open, on both sides of his hips and he said the name of the game was “The moving train.”

He said the train was starting and began to slowly lift his thighs, one at a time. Within a few seconds, he announced that the train was increasing speed, and he increased the pace at which he was lifting the thighs. Before I knew it, his hands were on my underwear, and he pushed it to the side, forcing his fingers on my private parts. I panicked, and as I was about to stand up, he gripped my hips and commanded me to sit still, not to move, and not to shout or scream. He used his fingers on me the first time, and I still remember how painful it was, even as I write about it now I get palpitations.

Image by kone kassoum 

After what seemed like forever, he instructed me to go outside and play with my cousins, and not to tell anyone of what had happened, or else he would deal with me. Feeling so much pain between my legs, I rushed off to play, pretending as if everything was ok. It was after a few years that I realized that at that time, he had an erection, and he only let go of me when he was relieved. I felt it when I sat on his laps, but at that time I did not understand what it was.

This was the first of the countless number of times that followed and one of the many ways my brother sexually abused me and robbed me of my childhood. Slowly becoming a habit over the couple of years that followed…

to be continued…. in case you missed part one click the link below

If you are reading this and you have been raped? Rush to your nearest clinic within 72hrs and receive treatment for HIV STIs and Pregnancy. Counselling services are also available even if 72hrs have passed.

by Floridah Mapeto

Floridah Rumbidzai Mapeto is a Communications specialist with a strong passion for the rights of women and girls. She currently works with the Adult Rape Clinic as part of the Advocacy , OutReach and Awareness department.

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