Latest BlogsGirl with no name - Adult Rape Clinic

I will be honest about how I truly feel, there is no other way I can tell my story. I have internal scars and currently see no way out of this hand life has dealt me. Maybe there is a “But God” waiting to happen, we will just have to wait and see.

There is no name I am currently proud to be known as, so I remain ‘girl with no name’.  The reason that got me here is an attempted suicide, a series of events that led to why I wanted to end my own life and still feel like doing it. I am 18 now, from the age of 9 to 16 I was raped by my two uncles after my mother got married and downright deserted anything to do with me or her family.

Photo by Pluetoe from Pexels

Before you judge the woman that brought me to this world, let me explain to you a bit of my birth story

I was conceived as a result of Rape or Incest, my mother was raped by her uncle when she was in her teens and the family decided to keep this a secret. When my mother finally got an escape from the family through marriage she left me with my grandmother and never returned. I was after all the family’s best kept secret, I had to remain.

My mother did not have me by choice, how was she ever going to explain to her new husband who I am or who my father was?

Although my biological father who is also my uncle passed on a few years ago, his two brothers remained and took it upon themselves to carry through their elder brother’s transgressions. I became their new victim for almost 7 years. It was on the day I finally decided to take my own life and landed at a local clinic, that verified that I had been infected with HIV and was also pregnant…Life

The case was reported and fortunately, the law authorised a TOP . One of my uncles was arrested but the other one escaped and has not been seen since. I’m now back to the only place I know as home, where all my pain dwells, with my grandmother.

A million thoughts run through my mind every single day. I imagine how easy life would have been for everyone if I wasn’t alive, maybe life would be so much easier. I have no one to blame, nowhere to go. A child of incest

Image by Manfred Richter from Pixabay

I am currently undergoing trauma psychological counselling sessions and yet I still feel a sense of hopelessness, some days I have hope, some days I default but something tells me I have to keep telling this story, not just for me but for others. I guess the positive outcome at the moment is that I have managed to open up to you. I feel some form of relief.

I hope one day I can add more to it, a different narrative and energy than the one I have now, some light maybe, I hope I can speak about it in another tone, maybe this is just the beginning… just maybe

 

If you are reading this and you have been raped. Do not keep quiet, talk to someone you trust about it. Rush to your nearest health facility or contact us within 72hrs and receive free treatment to prevent HIV, STIs and Pregnancy.

by Floridah Mapeto

Floridah Rumbidzai Mapeto is a Communications specialist with a strong passion for the rights of women and girls. She currently works with the Adult Rape Clinic as part of the Advocacy , OutReach and Awareness department.

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